


The Door Between Us

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 05:09:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16988634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sabriel.  Inspired by the song ‘I Run to You’ from Lady Antebellum. Gabriel and Sam both want to admit their feelings, but there is so much in their way.





	The Door Between Us

_I run from hate.  I run from prejudice.  I run from pessimists.  But I run too late._

 

Gabriel stood outside the door, just staring at it.  His heart was pounding, a bead of sweat was falling down his face.  He had done a lot in his life, but this was by far the hardest.  He remembered how hard it was to see his family fall apart, to see the hate form between Michael and Lucifer.  He remembered how hard it was to run away from his home in heaven. 

 

The pain of hearing everyone say that Lucifer would fall, because he was the ‘evil’ one, those prejudice bastards.  Gabriel tried to stay strong, but when everyone was so pessimistic about Lucifer coming around about humanity, about him not going down the dark road, he had to leave.  But what a lot of people don’t know…he left the same day his brother fell.  He ran because he tried to save his brother, but he was too late.

 

Just like he was today.  He went to the Winchesters to try to help them.  He had been an ally in their fight for some time now, but today was big.  Three Wendigos.  He didn’t want them to get hurt, but…he was too late.  Dean had a broken leg and Sam had been covered in scrapes and bruises and burns.  He was always too late.

 

_I run my life, or is it running me?  Run from my past.  I run too fast, or too slow it seems._

Sam sat on the crappy motel bed as he thought through everything.  So much has happened in his life.  His head fell into his hands as he realized that he never really had a grip on his own life.  It was like someone else was running it for him, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t break loose of that control.

 

His horrible past, he used to think he could have stopped it, but he couldn’t, could he?  Yellow eyes put demon blood in him, he couldn’t control that.  Being Lucifer’s vessel, he sure as hell didn’t choose that.  The demon blood…that was his fault, he should have said no.  Even everything else, the hunts, the apocalypse, the darkness, leviathans.  It never seemed that he was ever in the right place at the right time, he was either too fast, or too slow, to do any good.  That’s all he ever wanted, was to do good.

 

_When lies become the truth, that’s when I run to you._

 

Gabriel raised his hand again, trying to knock on the door, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.  He finally figured out where he belonged.  It wasn’t in heaven, it was here…it was right on the other side of this door.  He spent his whole life hiding who he really was, lying about his identity, his power.  But last night, when he was too late, all of those lies caught up with him. 

 

Gabriel never thought he would have a future.  He figured his sins were too much, his father would never allow him to have that happiness, to have love.  Yet, when he saw Sam fall to the ground in pain, he heard his father’s voice.  _He’s yours.  Protect him. Be happy_.  And that’s when he saw it.  He had feelings for Sam long before now, but it was his father’s voice that pushed him to truly see it.  He saw his future, his happiness, but what if his future didn’t want him? 

 

_This world keeps spinning faster into a new disaster so I run to you.  I run to you baby._

Sam took a deep breath as he lifted his head, seeing a flash of color reflect off the mirror.  It was golden, just like…  He shook his head, trying to get the image out of his mind.  Growing up, Sam always prayed that he could be normal, to fall in love, buy a house, have a family.  But now…that wasn’t what Sam wanted.  What he wanted was to be in _his_ arms, safe.  Sam couldn’t tell you when the feelings developed, just that they did…

 

Shit was hitting the fan, again.  He was so tired of it.  He didn’t want to quit, thought.  He saved too many lives to quit, but he couldn’t do this on his own anymore.  Sure, Dean was with him, but it was different.  He wanted…he wanted someone to hold, to tell him everything was going to be alright, that he would be safe.  Sam wanted it to be _him_.   

 

There was only one person Sam wanted by his side right now.  He took a deep breath as he intertwined his fingers, closed his eyes, and bowed his head.  It had been years since he prayed, he hoped he remembered how. 

_And when it all starts coming undone, baby you’re the only one I run to.  I run to you._

 

Gabriel’s heart was straining under the pressure.  He knew his happiness was on the other side of this door.  He could just walk through and wrap his arms around it, but…did he really deserve happiness?  All the crap he had done to others, to _him_.  Gabriel’s breath became quick as he felt his heart racing and pounding.  Was…was he having a panic attack? 

 

His mind answered with a barrage of its own questions that spiraled him deeper into his well of self-doubt and pity.  What if…what if he didn’t understand?  What if he hated him, never wanted to see him again…what if he tried to kill him?  It’s not like it would be the first time Sam would have tried to kill him.  Wow…now that he actually thought about it, he almost needed a second hand to count the number of times.

 

This was a bad idea.  Sam would never forgive him. He couldn’t do this.  He put a hand out on the door as his panic overtook him, making him come undone.  No matter how many times he saved their lives over the last couple years, the Winchesters would never forgive him for the things he did.  It hit him hard at that realization.  He would never be happy, not really.  Gabriel already decided he would watch over Sam Winchester, he would never let anything bad happen to him again.  But…he couldn’t face Sam now.  Sam would never forgive him. 

 

_We run on fumes.  Your life and mine, like the sands of time, slippin’ right on through._

Time seemed to stand still.  Sam silently prayed as Gabriel silently let his heart break.  Only mere feet, and a door, stood between them.  Each calling to the other so desperately.  Their hearts were running on fumes and adrenaline, their minds whispering only their deepest thoughts.  Neither stopped to think of a different what if…what if he wants me?  What if he loves me too?  They never did.

 

Until now.

 

_And our love’s the only truth.  That’s why I run to you._

Gabriel’s eyes shot open as he heard Sam’s voice in his mind.

 

‘I am praying to Gabriel.  If you can hear this…please.  I can’t do this alone, not anymore. I…I need you, Gabriel.’

 

Gabriel’s self-control broke and his want, his need, pushed him through the door and into the arms of Sam Winchester.  The force of Gabriel’s body meeting Sam’s threw them off balance, making Sam grab hold of the edge of the bed to stop from toppling over.

 

“Sam, I’m sorry!  I’m sorry for what I did to you all those years ago.  I’m s-so s-sorry.”  Gabriel couldn’t remember the last time he cried, but here he was doing it again.  He pulled his arms tighter around Sam’s neck, worried that if he let go, it would all be a dream. 

 

“G-Gabriel!”  Sam was stunned, but soon sighed and wrapped his arms around the small archangel.  “Gabe…”  Sam smiled at how close he was to his angel, never wanting to be separated again. 

 

“Sam, please…please, forgive me.”  Gabriel cried into Sam’s shoulder.  There was so much he wanted to say, to beg forgiveness for, but he couldn’t find the words.  His mind focused only on one thing, holding Sam.  Hold him tighter, hold him softer, keeping him close. 

 

Sam began to run his fingers through Gabriel’s hair as a few tears of his own fell.  The motion seemed to calm the weeping angel.  “I forgave you a long time ago.  I just…I can’t do this anymore, Gabe.”  He pushed against the small body to give them some separation, but Gabriel wouldn’t budge.  “Just a minute…Gabriel, please.” 

 

Sam heard the soft sigh in his ear as Gabriel leaned back to look into Sam’s hazel eyes, but refused to untangle his arms from around Sam.  Those hazel eyes that he always wanted to stare into bored into his very soul.  “Gabriel…I…I think…”  The words wouldn’t come.  Sam had them planned, he had a whole speech ready for when he saw Gabriel, but now…nothing.

 

“Sam, what do you need?  Tell me.”  Gabriel ran his hands through the long brown locks and then down Sam’s arms.  He could feel the fear and nervousness coming off Sam in waves.  Was it because he wanted Gabriel to go?  Or was it something else?  The questions in his mind stopped when Sam leaned forward and laid a soft kiss on Gabriel’s lips. 

 

When he pulled back, he lowered his eyes, scared to see the archangel’s reaction.  What if Gabriel was disgusted…didn’t like Sam that way?  What if he misinterpreted all the hints he thought Gabriel had been giving him over the last couple years when he popped up? 

 

“Shh, Sam.  Stop thinking like that.”  Gabriel cooed at him.  “I care about you, Samuel.  More than I think I could ever put into words.  You… you are the center of the world that I rotate.  You are the only thing in this entire world that I would give my life, body, and soul to.  Only you, Sam.”

 

The smile that went across Sam’s face was one Gabriel had never seen before, and he had been watching Sam for years.  It was so filled with love and hope and happiness, that Gabe thought the mere sight of it may leave him blind.  Sam pulled him close again, moving until they were resting next to each other on the bed. 

 

Sam’s head was resting on Gabriel’s shoulder as Gabe ran his fingers through his hair, which if he would admit it, was his favorite new past time.  Sam threw an arm around the angel, pulling him flesh against him, afraid he would fly off any second.

 

“I think I love you…”  Sam whispered against Gabriel’s neck.

 

“Oh, Sammich.  I know I love you.  I always have, I always will.”  Gabriel pulled Sam into him, wrapping a protective arm around those broad shoulders.  “And I promise, I will keep you safe through everything.” 

 

Sam couldn’t help the weakness that filled his voice as he spoke.  “Are you sure you won’t regret it?  You won’t…you won’t fall out of love with me.” 

 

Gabriel’s heart couldn’t take much more of this, it was too full and too sensitive.  Loving Sam was like flying next to a comet.  It was bright, and beautiful, but it did have its sharp edges, and it sometimes burnt…but it was worth it.  “Sam…”  He reached down and pulled Sam’s chin up so he could look him in the eyes.  “I will love you, with all my heart, until the day I die.” 

 

Sam gave a soft chuckle.  “And I will always love you, but…don’t you mean until I die.  You will probably never die.”  Sam tried lightening the mood a bit by adding a small joke.  “You are too stubborn to die.”  However, that thought was one of the biggest things that broke Sam’s heart when he lay alone at night.  Those nights, he would dream that Gabriel felt the same way, that he loved Sam too, but then again…Sam knew one day he would die, and, even if it took years, Gabriel would someday move on and love someone else. 

 

“Nope.  Kiddo, I mean until I die.  Because when you die…I’m going home.  I’m going to be in your heaven, by your side.  Until eternity.”  Gabriel pressed a kiss to Sam’s forehead and smiled.  “Right here, Samsquatch.”  He motioned down his and Sam’s body a couple times before finishing.  “This is my paradise.”

 

Sam couldn’t believe the words he just heard.  Never, ever, had anyone made him feel more loved, more important, than Gabriel just did.  He relaxed into the angel again as he closed his eyes.  This would be the first night Sam slept in Gabriel’s arms, whispering their love for each other, but it sure wouldn’t be the last. 


End file.
